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You have to have a sense of humour to do agility

Mention your dog (again) or an agility show (again) to your non-doggie friends and their eyes glaze over as they stifle a yawn, Yes, folks, there are people out there who will appreciate your agility sense humour. This page is a place where you can share your sense of humour with like-minded people without fear of retribution  or being forced to listen to those big fish stories...again.

So if you see or hear something which will tickle our funny bone, email it to:- Agilitynet. For instance...


 

Click Click

After an operations on his knee have left Mike Afia with a clicking noise when he walked, a 'friend' then started to tease him about giving a new meaning to the term 'clicker training.'


Weather Report

Just to remind you all that the Drought Order comes into force from tomorrow (29 May 2006) and that the watering of sports grounds which will include Agility rings - will NOT be permitted. Lynn Anderson


Overheard at Crufts 2005
From Juliet Mockford

Breyers miniature dog agility set includes many of the obstacles seen at trials. This authentically detailed set includes an open tunnel, 2 jumps, a tyre jump, a teeter, an A-frame, pause table, and weave poles. The set also includes the Shetland Sheepdog sculpture. Made of colorfully-painted wood and scaled for dogs in Breyers Companion Animals series.
Whilst chatting today with Linda Collins, winner of the Working Group at Crufts with her Tervueren, her daughter was present with her boyfriend. He asked me what type of dogs mine were. When I replied Border Collies, he asked if they were the Sheepdogs, to which I replied 'yes they were, but instead of working sheep, they work in agility.'

He looked a little puzzled until Dominique provided the layman's definition of agility. 'Yes, she said, 'Remember the Adventure Playground at Crufts.'

First seen on The Agility Forum (03/04/05)


Agility's a Bitch
From Aileen Clarke

I made a bit of an issue about someone running a bitch in season at Wilton Week 'cos, for want of a better phrase, it puts entire dogs off their stroke!

A month ago I got a German Spitz bitch as a wife for Max. She came into season ten days ago, and at the South Durham Show last weekend, my Bryn came third in Pairs, and at Wilton, the day after, Kie came 20th in Open Jumping, just two seconds behind the winning dog. This is the best result we have had this year!

Mmmmmm, interesting, when I really cannot get anything out of them if they smell a bitch at a show.


Zip It Up
From Mike Gooch (USA)

I have a little guy that I just had to name Zipper.

Why? Reason, when I tell him down on the table, I can point at the *judge* and say, "Zipper, Down". I figure that if the judge is looking down, they ain't lookin' at my dog.


Blue Yonder
From Jo Killen (USA)

I scribed for Novice Standard at an agility trial one weekend. When a Bouvier came into the ring, I checked the scribe sheet and did a double-take. Its name was 'Yonder.' That seemed a really strange one!

Then the handler led off and called, 'Over, Yonder!' and I understood why she picked it.


Bad Mouth Litter
from Liz Neuman (USA)

Years ago, I was running my first Aussie, Pocket, at a new training class. After finishing an exercise once, someone came up to me and said 'Jjust what IS your dog's name?' Apparently POck Et, sounded a lot like something else when said
loudly and heard from a distance!

I also have a friend who purposefully named her agility dog Jack for the exact reason someone mentioned earlier. She just couldn't resist pairing it with 'off.' He's actually a littermate of my Pocket. Must have been the bad mouth litter!

And I fall for the people who say 'bench' for the table every time...'what did she just say?' :o)


ABC Team
From Angela Lucas

A group of us made a team for a show held in Aldershot.  It was a Weimaraner, Doberman, rough collie and my GSD.  We were due to be one of the last teams and we were all in Starters at the time.

About an hour before we were due to run, I had gone back to the vehicle where my gannet of a GSD was and let him off for a wee.  He disappeared and I heard my mate shouting.  Charlie had gone and ransacked his weekend rations!

There was debate about running him - I decided to give it a go.  The best score was from a quad of intermediate superior competitors with collies.  We lined up, dog no1 - clear.  Dog no 2 clear. Dog no 3 usually has a dodgy scale - clear.  My dog no 4 with someone else tea in him - clear!  We won  the team event and I still have that cup!


Good to the Last Drop
From Victoria Ford (USA)

I have a chocolate and rust Min Pin named Coffee. Almost eight years ago when I started agility, I did not think about the laughter the command 'Coffee table' would cause. Needless to say life was simpler and everyone laughed so I ended up with a Table issue which we finally conquered.

One judge, June Ebert, said I should have taught a drop, then 'table Coff drop!' Talk about the laughs that would have caused.


The Impossible Poodle
From Angela Lucas

I was entered in a pairs class with my friend Jackie. It was a wet day and the ground was mucky. My friend with her trusty dog Meggie went round this jumping course and swapped with me. I set off with the Poodle (who is a Midi competing at Standard height). 

Things are going kay until the last fence. He stops. Dead. Doesn't move. I wave him on. No effort. I shout go on.Nothing. Refusal No 1.

Jackie starts calling him. No, doesn't work. I try recalling him. Don't like the  jump, goes to walk round. I stop him. Judge is laughing now. Refusal No.2. 

After equalling the course time for two dogs, he finally makes the last jump. I have never found out why he stopped. He never told me.


The Sausage Game
From Angela Lucas

The Game for a laugh class at Burgess goes back to the good old days when we had to run our dogs in flippers or use hula hoops.

One year, my dear old GSD (the gannet) and I were in the queue. All my mates, knowing his habit were literally taking bets on the side that he would eat all the sausages lined up in front of him.  Wrong!  He left those alone (what a well trained dog!)

As we crossed the finish line, instead of slowing up, he gained speed and headed straight for the score table where the spare supplies had just arrived. There was complete bedlam and flying sausages, tickets and tables in danger of collapse as he shovelled as many off the trays as he could before being caught. Those were the days of agility! 

My final note is on two occasions while my Midi worked the standard height we did two memorable clear agility rounds, only to find were 5 seconds out of time.  Those were the worst rounds of my life, because he couldn't have tried harder and I couldn't have made him go faster all because the course times set.  After the second one, I never put my poodle into another standard class again.


Dot Dot Dash
From Victoria Farrington (USA)

Years ago, I was at a trial in intermittent rain. Everyone's numbers were blurry or buried under their slickers and the line-up was all out of order because a lot of people left. I got up to the start line with my dog on my left side and the timers on the right and someone from over there yelled, "Who is this??"

I yelled back, 'This is Dash!' while looking at them. Everyone laughed.

Someone cocked a hand to his ear and yelled again, 'Who is this?' I yelled again, 'This is Dash!' I was a little miffed that everyone laughed again.

Then someone pointed and I turned. My dog was doing a playbow. He'd been visiting some schools and I'd taught him this as a cute introduction. Every time I yelled, 'This is Dash!' he took a deep bow.

He had a very nice run. I guess he felt himself properly introduced to the crowd.

The timers later apologized to me for 'breaking our focus' but getting a good laugh before you run can be a very good thing.


Two Jack Stories

From Scot (USA)

We had a Sheltie named Jack. The stewardess told us not to say 'Hi Jack' when they were loading him on the plane.

From Cindy Morettin (USA)

Having a dog named Jack posed a slight problem. When I first started running him in competition, I gave him the command to 'Jack off' (the table). Only after hearing the judge laugh did I realise... Just to be on the safe side, I modified his name to Jax after that.


Agility Dogs are Smart But...

Discovered on a recent show schedule which shall remain nameless...

Quote: 'Each dog entered in the Pairs must have completed a signed entry form.'

Unquote: Pen-manship lessons with a biro begin on Monday!

More humour


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